Exploring different options to help your child find the support they need can be daunting or confusing, and you may be unsure about what to expect from different counsellors or services. Please read on for an explanation of what you can expect from me.
I am an integrative trained counsellor, so I use a variety of methods that might help you and your child in counselling.
What integrative counselling is: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/integrative-counselling/
Free initial phone call with a parent or carer
On initial contact, I would speak to the parent/parents of the child or young person. This would be a free 20 min telephone call to explore the issues your child is experiencing, we would discuss your own and your child’s hopes for their counselling (if you know them) and how I may be able to help.
During this call, I will also ask if your child disclosed any suicidal thoughts/plans, or whether you know if they are self-harming. This helps me understand if a safety plan would need to be prioritised for our first session.
Example of a Safety Plan: https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/SafetyPlan.pdf
During this initial telephone call we will also discuss any neurodiversity-related or other needs your child may have. This is to ensure I can provide good accessibility to the room, and it also gives us a chance to explore if there are any specific triggers we can avoid to alleviate any extra anxiety your child may experience when attending the sessions. For example, to explore whether you (a parent) need to be present in the sessions more, or how the room lighting might need changing, any sounds that could be triggering, or if there are communication styles or preferences to be aware of.
You will have opportunities to ask questions and provide information you feel is relevant. We would discuss the cost/affordability of counselling and how many sessions might be needed. How many sessions we have is important to establish, so that we (your child and I) can agree on and work towards achievable goals. This also allows us to plan for an ending.
If you and your child decide on counselling from me, we will book the first session. It may be helpful if your child reads through my profile or website before we meet, to become more familiar with me and the counselling room.
I will send you my client agreement ahead of the first session. I encourage you to read it, as it contains important information. A client agreement includes details about confidentiality, data recording, fees, how to pay, cancellations, and complaint procedures.
The first session (parent and child both attend)
At least one parent must attend part or all of the first session so that we can discuss and agree on the boundaries and expectations for the counselling.
In the first part of the session, we will spend a few minutes or longer trying to reduce any nerves or anxieties your child may have about attending counselling. If your child seems confused about coming to counselling, I will explain how they are in control of the process, and coming to counselling will be their choice.
While outlining the boundaries of counselling, I will explain to everyone that the sessions between the client (the child) and me are confidential, unless there is a significant risk of harm to your child. This is also outlined in the client agreement I will have sent you but I will also explain this fully in a way your child will understand.
Once your child feels ready to start, we will then ask the parent to leave the room so that we can begin the sessions. The remainder of this session will usually be an opportunity for me to get to know your child more, explore how they feel about counselling and what they want to achieve from sessions. It will hopefully help your child decide if they with to continue with sessions here.
When can you expect to communicate with me about your child’s counselling?
If your child requests that I speak to you
If is is beneficial to your child and their wellbeing and your child agrees that I can I will talk to you
If your child indicates they are at significant risk of harm from themselves or someone else. We will then discuss ways to keep your child safe, reducing any risks of harm.
Please be assured that despite maintaining confidentiality of your child’s sessions, I will always prioritise the safety of your child.
Children who may not want to attend counselling or may be undecided
For counselling to have an opportunity to be effective, your child must choose to be in therapy. It is normal for a child to feel unsure about counselling or their counsellor in the first few sessions, so I will be aware of this and encourage your child to give the sessions some time before deciding to continue. I know, from being a parent myself, how hard it can feel if your child refuses to continue, especially if you are feeling desperate for them to get help. But I will help you explore these barriers, maybe by having a session yourself to discuss your concerns, and look at alternative options for your child. I may be able to help you explore what might be going on for your child and their reluctance to attend, and how else you may be able to support them.
What to expect from our sessions?
I will be working with your child using various approaches to counselling, as previously mentioned I am a integrative trained counsellor. My core training consists of two main approaches: person-centered and Psychodynamic counselling: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/person-centred-counselling and https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/psychodynamic-therapy/
Additionally, for working with Children and Young people, I also have training which gives me the skills to provide a Proactive Approach to counselling. This means I can work with your child focusing on prevention, personal growth, and resilience. I may also use creative strategies to help your child express themselves.
Depending on the number of sessions you (parent) agree that we can have, we may focus the sessions on several aspects. In short-term counselling (6-12 sessions), we might set specific goals that aim to reduce unwanted behaviours or better manage feelings. This could mean focusing on developing healthy strategies to cope as an alternative to self-harm. In longer-term counselling, we will have the flexibility and time to discuss, in depth, their experiences from the past, how they feel it affects them now and explore what helps them overcome these difficulties.
I will also review the sessions (every 4-6 weeks) with your child. A review aims to help me understand how your child feels the sessions are going and make any adjustments needed. If sessions need to end for any reason, or your child feels they do not wish to continue, I will allow some time at the end of the session to discuss this with you. It may be that your child needs a referral to another service, or may benefit from an alternative counsellor, and I can support you with this if needed.
Lastly, another important aspect you may wish to understand is how I manage endings. I will regularly mention the ending of counselling sessions with your child, which is to help us manage any anxiety related to ending or unexpected endings. Additionally, keeping an ending in sight may (in particular with short-term counselling) help to focus your child on building resources for coping outside of the counselling sessions. Normally, during an ending session, we will focus on celebrating the progress and change your child has made. We will also discuss the resources and support your child has outside of counselling, helping them feel more confident in supporting themselves emotionally.
