Counselling is for anyone, anyone who wants the support of a professional relationship to help them grow emotionally. Emotional growth involves learning how to identify emotions. When you can identify emotions (your own and others) it develops your ability to think about behaviour more clearly. Being better at identifying feelings and behaviours will improve your relationship with yourself and others. You will have more compassion for yourself and others and you may feel better able to control your behaviours.
Counselling could help if you are faced with a difficult life situation or relationship, experiencing poor mental health, or a difficult childhood haunts you. It could also be helpful to you if you’re curious to understand yourself and others better and/or change your destructive behaviours. There are several types of counselling and psychotherapy and you may wish to read the link here on the different types that are offered in the UK https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/
Counselling is not here to offer you a pat on the back and say “it will be ok”, it is here to help you withstand the pain of your situation and sit through your feelings, so it is not an easy process and you will need to feel ready. Counsellors are not here to agree or disagree with your perspective, so they don’t need to be your best friend but a good connection with counsellor is important so that you can trust they will try to understand you and offer warmth throughout the process, regardless of difference. Counselling can also challenge your beliefs about yourself, others and your experiences, so be prepared for a tough ride sometimes.
Before I embarked upon my counselling training I was unaware of my prejudices and the beliefs I held about others, this way of being made me angry with the world and very unhappy. I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that I/they should know better and should change. My outward criticism of others was also a projection of my own harsh internalised critic “I should know better”!. I lived in a world of using statements such as, “I/they should”. It was a recipe for my poor relationships, lack of connection and unhappiness. Counselling opened my eyes to this destructive way of being. As hard as it is to go through the process of self awareness and change, I felt it was my duty as a mother, daughter and human being to have my eyes wide open.
Word of caution: If you’re thinking all your problems dissolve with a counsellor, think again, because they don’t. Going through counselling can give you a new perspective on your problems, equip you with a truer understanding and give you the ability to reflect and respond differently. But we are still human and still suffer, when life intervenes, but I certainly suffer less because of counselling.
Because of counselling my children and the people around me suffer less. Sometimes only you can be the change for the people you love, others will change in their own time, or not at all.
Thank you so much for reading. If you’ve had an experience of counselling id love to hear your experience, good or bad please comment below.
Hayley
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